What Your Spouse Needs in Marriage

I would like to go ahead with you and turn over to Revelation 19. Revelation 19 is a chapter right on the heels of the fall of that final Babylonian power. And this is the chapter where Jesus Christ has returned. And a lot of rejoicing begins. And it is time for the marriage of the Lamb and the Church. So in Revelation 19, let's drop down to verse 6. And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude as the sound of many waters, as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, Alleluia for the Lord God, omnipotent reigns.

And to that we can say, God's speed that day as we see this world going down the tube as it is. Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready. And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright.

For the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. Then He said to me, Right, blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb. And that's as far as we'll read right there. God's feed the day when these verses are fulfilled. But in the meantime, we're a part of that bride to be, and we are to be radiating ourselves for that particular time. And to prepare for that, God has given us the institution of marriage and the institution of family.

Because these are the days of preparation for us. These are the days before the door to the ark is shut. These are the days that serve as a training ground for the kingdom that is to come. You are familiar with the parable of the ten virgins, and the five wives, the five foolish. But partway through it, it says, At midnight a cry was heard, behold, the bride groom is coming. Let us go out to meet him. And so repeatedly God uses, God inspires authors of the Bible to use the analogy of marriage. And so I want to look at marriage with you.

I know it wasn't that long back I gave a sermon on the 1st Corinthians 13 marriage. Broke down the various pieces there of what was written there. But marriage, there perhaps is no better means of preparing for the ultimate marriage with Christ than by working on and strengthening our own marriage today. The question I want to consider with you is this. What does your mate need in order to be happy in marriage? What does your mate need in order to be happy in marriage?

Now, what we will cover, I will focus on from the point of view of marriage. And I realize in any size audience we have those who are not currently married. But what we will cover in answering that question can apply to family, and we all have families. And it can apply to any relationship that we have, whether it's people we work with or people from the community or the neighborhood.

What does your mate need in order to be happy in marriage? Well, I have six answers that I want to address and cover with you. Number one is companionship. Your husband or your wife needs your companionship. Let's go back to Genesis 2, to the very establishment of marriage. We have in the first chapter the story told of the events of the sixth day of creation. And part of what was done on the sixth day was to create human beings, male and female.

And he told them, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth. But we have more detail given in chapter 2. Chapter 2, verse 18, and the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.

So this other one would be a counterpart, would be a team member. Someone to help him. Someone, whereas the verses go on, where together they become a singular unit before God. Well, verses 19 and 20 tell us that God obviously created Adam first. We're told that in the Bible.

But then he had a very important exercise for Adam to fulfill. The various beasts of the field, the birds of the air, they all, as I envisioned, they passed by in array. And the male and his female. And Adam gave names to them. So that was one reason for what transpired. But more importantly, at the end of verse 21, it says, But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. So it impressed upon him that up to that point, the animals that passed by, they had been named.

They all had their partners. As chapter 1 mentioned the different animals, the male and his female. But there was no one yet for Adam. That leads us to verse 21. And the Lord God caused the deep sleep to fall on Adam.

And he slept. God took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in his place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man. The setting is that of a marriage ceremony. God has created the man and now God has created the woman. He brings her, Christ, the God of the Old Testament, but he is the creator. And as God brings her then to Adam, and it is as though there's a ceremony.

Adam said, this is now bone of my bone. So he had seen every animal on earth and named them and realized, I'm alone. This is bone of my bones. This is flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Verse 24, Therefore a man shall leave. You know, this reads as though this is God speaking as though it were the ceremony, which is why decades ago the church incorporated these very words into our wedding ceremony.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Now the phrase, be joined to his wife. Yes, it speaks of physical intimacy, the act whereby you will be able to fill the earth with children. But it's talking about being physically unified spiritually, mentally, being one in every sense of the term, that as a man and a woman, the two have the opportunity with God's help to achieve a oneness that they will achieve with no one else to that degree on earth. Now, we have a statement Peter made, and we'll go there later, but Peter wrote about marriage in the first seven verses or so of 1 Peter 3, and he mentioned in verse 7 that, You are heirs together of the grace of life, lest your prayers are hindered.

You are heirs together of the grace of life. So there is a spiritual unity that God intends. Now, again, that depends on the marriage. I'll comment later. We have many marriages in God's church where God calls the man or the woman, but doesn't call the other one. And we have many marriages where both are called, the man and the woman. And we have those who are single or those who were married but then become single.

So we have all kinds of different situations in the body of Christ. We are familiar with the statement that the prophet Amos made. Amos chapter 3, he said, Can two walk together, except they be agreed? And it is God's intention that we become one, and that means we work toward walking together in agreement. Now, we have the story of ancient Israel and the God of the Old Testament married them.

That's what he said in Jeremiah. I was married to you, but they left him. But of course, the groom died on the cross, and it dissolved that marriage. Physical Israel was never able to reach that level of unity. And God has called us to be a part of spiritual Israel to move toward that level of unity. And we learn it at home first as a forerunner to the time when Revelation 19 is fulfilled, and Christ literally does marry the church.

But we're talking here about companionship. Everyone hungers for someone to be with someone, to work with someone, to make plans with someone, to initiate the steps of that plan with someone. A major part of companionship is communication.

Communication is the transmitting and receiving of information back and forth. It has to be a two-way street. Communication is give and take. It takes patience to listen and to hear out the other. It takes an open mind to be able to strive to see the situations through the eyes and by walking in the shoes of the other person. It is not easy to do. But your mate, as a part of your companionship, your mate needs you to listen to him or her. Your mate needs to hear you say something. There are some that just have... who was the president? Was that Coolidge? Calvin Coolidge, who was known for? He just very seldom would say a word. And I read a story once where a lady came up to him and said, President Coolidge, I'll bet you a certain amount of money. I'll bet you that I can get you to say three words. And he looked at her and said, you lose two words. Well, our mate needs to hear us say something because it's through our words that we reveal what the abundance of the heart is. And the same is true for children or any relationship. There needs to be a communication, a giving and a taking here. Let's go to Hebrews 13 and we'll read verse 16.

Hebrews 13 and we read verse 16. Verse 16, it says, But do not forget to do good and to share, For with such sacrifices God is well pleased.

Now, that's the New King James. I want to go back to the Old King James.

Some of you may have this right now, but the Old King James says, But to do good and to communicate forget not. So the Old King James used the word communicate. The New King James used the word do good and share, to share. But then it says, With such sacrifices God is well pleased. Communication is a sacrifice. It is a giving of yourself to the other. It is a demonstration of your love. It is a vital and necessary part of being your spouse's best friend and companion.

Too many times, one or maybe both, simply do not take the time to listen, to talk with each other, and just to be together. And those things are the basics of companionship.

Number two is home. Your spouse, your mate, needs a home.

Now, years ago, we were in California. We had a three-year assignment out there in one of the congregations that we served. There was a young family. She grew up on a cotton farm in West Texas.

And the day came when her parents visited, and they were their services. And I met her father first.

And I asked him, well, I was trying to find out exactly what part. Turned out it was near San Angelo, Texas, is where they had a cotton farm. But I asked him the question, well, where exactly is home? And he just pointed across the hall over at his wife, and he said, wherever she is. And I think that, you know, married couples understand that. It wasn't that long back. I spent over three weeks by myself. Well, I wasn't by myself. I was in a city of 18 million people. But I was in Manila, Philippines, at the church office there. Yes, I was around people all the time. But there was a void in my life. What a happy day when this lady came walking down the concourse and came out of the security area, and we were together again. That was an eternity. Don't want to do that again. Want to keep the trips a little shorter, or be together. We're designed to be together. And as we're together, we worked on building a home. But that man that day pointed at his wife, wherever she is, there's a lot to that.

Now, their daughter had told me about their farm, and she called me whenever a tornado wiped out the house she'd grown up in, because that was home. And I think of home. Part of it is a place where I grew up, where I spawned out back once upon a time on a wheat farm in north central Oklahoma. But, yeah, that's a long time ago. But a couple worked together to build a home. And for men, I don't want to overgeneralize here, but you know, sometimes a man's concept of home is having a dinner. Yes, well put. Hey, very insightful lady back there. She must be married to a man. But a recliner, a television, extra roll of toilet paper, and something to eat. Just the facts, just the basics of life. And he can be happy. The walls here are bare. Amazingly, I think it was tomorrow would be eight years. So we moved into the house out between Madison Athens, where we live.

And the walls are close to that color, actually. See, I didn't notice that. This is slightly darker, slightly darker. But all of a sudden, things start popping up on the walls.

And I didn't do any of it except the calendar. I need a calendar. I want to know what I hate. I'm having to look more often at the calendar to know what day I'm living in.

But things started happening. You know, a man's concept of home is different. Again, I don't want to overgeneralize. But with a woman, you see, her approach to home is different. It's of far greater importance, generally. To a woman, a home is an extension of who she is as a person. And if somebody comes in that door into her home, it communicates to that visitor a lot about her and about her family. And so she wants it to be set just a certain way. Now, let's look at Titus chapter 2. Titus 2, and Paul writing to Titus, he first mentioned the older men, what they need to be passing on. And then in verse 3, he mentions the older women.

But then, Titus 2, verse 4, again, the context of the older women, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. One of the words was homemakers. A woman seems to have the natural interest more so in making it into a nest that is comfortable. You see, a home is to be a safe haven from the society, the world around us. Home is supposed to be where we can find stability. Home is where we go and we find love, and we find acceptance, and we find a consistent approach. It's been a couple years ago, but up in Murfreesboro, Larry Perryman leads songs and gives sermonettes. In one of his sermonettes, he made the statement that he once heard it said that home is where you go and they have to let you in. I thought that was very, very insightful because there are a lot of places you go and they don't have to let you in. You can find that door is bolted tightly shut, but you go back home. Sometimes you go back home, yeah, and you've made some terrible mistakes. Sometimes, you know, as a young person, you go back home from school that day and you did things that day that were not pleasing to the people who gave you the family name that you carry. And you go back, yeah, they let you in, but they also use the teaching moment to show you this is the standard you need. You need to raise the bar on your behavior because, you know, our family doesn't act that way. We do not do that at school. We do not do that anywhere. So a home is where we go. We may have made mistakes, but we go home and love is unconditional and they're there to do what they can. We tend to have stereotype ideas. Well, you know, the man's the one. He's gonna do the car repairs and change the oil and he's gonna mow the lawn, do the outside stuff. But there's no word written that has to be that way. Sometimes, you know, I drive by. Denise is with me. I look over and I say, oh, I just love to see a woman out mowing the lawn, don't you? She doesn't think that's quite as funny as I do. But, you know, it's not right or wrong. And sometimes you've got a man just simply loves to cook and he's good at it. I mean, a lot of your top chefs are men. A lot of women are that way too, but I think more times than not, a woman has talents more in the area of color schemes.

That's the way it is in our house. I mean, I don't... what color goes with what? I have no idea. But it's too working together to build a home and make it something that is a safe haven, especially for children growing up and grandchildren later on where they can come. And Grandpa and Grandma are always the same. Let's go to Proverbs 14. Proverbs 14. And let's read just verse 1.

Proverbs 14 verse 1, it says, The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. The wise woman builds her house. And again, both work together. Man and woman work together to build this concept of home and create an environment in which each individual can grow and be loved and accepted and live life as consistently as possible. Okay, number three is respect. Your mate needs your respect. Now, to respect is to show honor, to show esteem and dignity toward the other. And respect gets into a spiritual value.

Respect is something a lot of times people try to command it or demand it, I should say. They try to decree respect, and that generally is going to backfire. It has to be earned.

Respect is realized over time. We earn that respect. And the foundation for earning respect is the example, basically just how we live our life. Because if our family goes out, sees us go out there and break every rule in the book, what is there to respect?

But if they look and they see that we are a country-loving, God-fearing person who abides by the laws of land and strives to live by the Word of God, then you have the beginning of foundation and respect that grows over the years.

The example is so important. But a man's going to have his problems. He's going to make his mistakes. A woman is going to have her problems, her weaknesses. She's going to make her mistakes. And we will, in marriage especially, quickly see, or at least over time, realize that my spouse is not perfect. You will see the other person's weaknesses. You will have all kinds of situations, and you will see that they are not perfect. But you know, there's a phrase that we often hear, familiarity breeds contempt.

And we do have to be careful. We have to fight against that. I think that's an attitude that's a tactic that Satan the Devil would like to inject into us, to get us familiar with even our spouse and with our family, with our closest friends, so that the familiarity leads us toward contempt.

You think back to the Old Testament, there are a lot of examples where, well, like Saul, when King Saul went and sought out the witch at Endor, he was going to seek one who had, what? A familiar spirit. Now, the righteous angels, Peter and Jude, both tell us they kept their proper estate. And a righteous angel is going to stay back unless God sends them in to intervene. The demons, though, and I believe Satan is the author of this familiarity that leads toward contempt. Demons sometimes will seek to become familiar with people. And I think that's where the attitude comes from. You get too close, so close, and Satan can inject an attitude that leads to contempt. Now, an example of that, let's go to 2 Samuel 6. We have a story of one of David's wives. Her name was Michael. And you may think of the example already. It was the time when the city of David was prepared, and they reached a point where there was a place to bring the Ark of the Covenant. And it was an exciting day, and it was so exhilarating to King David, the man.

David, he was, you could say he's the artsy type, because look at all the Psalms, which are basically the Psalms that he wrote. He had this sight of him. He was in the beauty, the things that he built.

And he was so excited, and he so loved his God, that we're finally bringing this Ark from the house of Obed-Edom, and we're bringing it here. And apparently, he laid off some of his outer clothing, and maybe he didn't have a whole lot on, but he was leaping and dancing and singing with all his might. And it reads like a lot of the Israelites were doing that with him, except his wife, Michael. Verse 12, and I was told King David, saying, The Lord has blessed the house of Obed-Edom. You remember the story of the Philistines, and he smote them with hemorrhoids, and they brought it back. But it, you know, Uzzah, you know, all those stories, and it had been there at the house of Obed-Edom, and God had poured out blessings there because of the Ark of God. So David went and brought up the Ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the city of David with Galatinus.

And so it was, when those bearing the Ark of the Lord had gone six paces, that he sacrificed oxen and feted sheep. Then David danced before the Lord with all his might, and David was wearing a linen ephod. So David and all the house of Israel brought up the Ark of the Lord with shouting and with the sound of the trumpet. Verse 16, though, things are all not well at home.

And the Ark of the Lord came into the city of David. Michael, Saul's daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart. She was filled with disrespect, with contempt, for her husband, who happened to be the king on this occasion of such a marvelous event. So they brought the Ark in. Let's skip on down, though. And David goes home. Verse 20, David returned to bless his household, and Michael, the daughter of Saul, came out to meet David and said, how glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself in the eyes of the maids of his servants as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself. So David said to Michael, it was before the Lord who chose me instead of your father. Ouch! That one had to hurt. So David lashes right back and he appointed me ruler of the people of the Lord. Therefore, end of verse 21, therefore I will play music before the Lord, and I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight. Well, verse 23 tells us, Michael went to her death and bore no children. That was because of this. She was filled with disrespect for her husband. The key to respect is the presence of God living in your spouse's life. If you look and all you see is a man, you'll be deeply disappointed. Well, fellows, if you look and all you see is a woman, you'll be disappointed. But to the degree that we can look at our spouse and see the hand of God in their life, then there's a foundation of respect that we can build upon. We see Christ as living there, and God can help us look beyond our mate's imperfections, and He can help us look to see where and how He is working. And by the way, the moon came up. Oh, I meant to say that a while ago. Did you see the full moon last night?

Two more opening night of the feast. Won't be long. It's exciting. Beautiful full moon last night.

Now, I want to pause here on this thought. We always have those in the body of Christ where God calls one or God calls the other and not both. We have a believer-unbeliever marriage, as Paul referred to it in 1 Corinthians 7. And I think we need to be cautioned in that regard that we do not unnecessarily let the truth of God drive wedges between us. There are a lot of battles to not pick and just let it go. Don't draw a line in the sand like happened down at Alamo. Don't draw that line in the sand because it's possible to legislate rebellion and bring a lot of grief on ourselves. Ben Franklin has attributed to this as having made this quote, blessed are they who expect little for they will never be disappointed.

Blessed are they who expect little for they will never be disappointed. But for most of us, if we look, we can see God working there. And there are a lot of members who have unbelieving spouses where that person is absolutely faithful and loyal, works hard to provide, and that's worth an awful lot and is worthy of respect as well.

But let's go on. Number four is encouragement. Your mate needs your encouragement.

We all have our limitations. We all have our own feelings of inferiority.

We also, as humans, have this tendency to compare ourselves among ourselves. And yet everyone has fears. Men have a fear of failure on the job or fear of losing a job.

Men fear making mistakes that the family sees and is aware of. Men fear making wrong decisions. Men fear situations over which they have no control. You're driving out in a remote area and a car breaks down. You have no control over that. And anyhow, men feel responsible for the safety of the family and you're stuck somewhere. A woman has fears. She has a fear of not being accepted. She has a fear of not being loved and appreciated by her husband. She has a fear of not being number one in the mind of her husband. She has a fear that his job is more important to him than she is. So we all have our fears. And our spouse and our children and our relationships, people in general, that we rub shoulders with, they need our encouragement. To encourage is to give courage to. To give confidence to. To embolden. To hearten.

They need the right words at the right time. To foster in them the resolve. To hold on in the face of adversity. They need to know that you believe in them. They need to know that your support is a given whenever they face life's hard knocks and get run over by life.

Proverbs, again, Proverbs 18.

And we'll read verse 21.

Proverbs 18.

Verse 21.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Well, let our words be words that edify, that build up, that foster life in the mind of the other person we interface with. 25.

25 verse 11.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

And, of course, there's a place where Paul wrote to those at Colossae chapter 4 about, let your speech be seasoned with salt, that it'll give grace to the hearers. So, a lot is said about the tremendous power in words of encouragement that our words can also tear down. All right, number five is a good example.

Your mate needs your good example.

Most of us are probably familiar with the famous poem Edgar Guest wrote, titled, Sermons We See. And in the lyrics he talked about, I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day. And he went on and talked about, your tongue may run too fast, but there's no mistaking, essentially, how you live your life.

Sermons we see. And our example actually is more powerful than the words, because it's a reflection of what we are on the inside.

A good example, Proverbs 27 verse 17, As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. If you've ever seen a chef work back in the kitchen of a nice restaurant, probably around his belt he has this chef's steel. It's a type of a file, but he can take that knife back and forth and it puts an edge back on it. That's the iron that is sharpening iron. And God wants us to be that way. And who better than our own spouse?

Our mate should be our best friend. And his or her example, if it's a good one, because we can also be bad examples.

We have a friend, an older fella up in the Kingsport Tennessee Church. He's quite a character. And once in a while he would say, well, if nothing else, we can always serve as bad examples.

I met and had coffee with Mylon and I told him that story and he said, well, we can always be bad examples, you know. So it's making the rounds. But we want to be good examples.

And that's true in every facet of life, our spiritual life, our prayer, our study, our service, our concern for fellow man.

Let's go to 1 Corinthians 7.

This is where Paul addresses different categories regarding the married state. Some were single. Some were unmarried, he called them.

Some had been married. For those who were single, he said that, you know, if possible, like me, just remain single.

And, but he also said, if you burn in passion, go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn.

But then he talked to the married.

Then he talked in the middle of chapter to those where you have a believer and an unbeliever. And I think there's a principle here that is valuable for us in any situation.

1 Corinthians 7 verses 15 and 16.

But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart.

Now, you have a marriage, believer, unbeliever.

The believer can only do his or her part. You can't do both of them. There are times when there are reasons the marriage is just simply going to go down. And the Bible realizes that.

A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

And what a wonderful blessing it is if we have an environment of peace in the home.

For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband, or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? And that is speaking of the power of example.

Now, let me share a story.

Years ago, what we were here, we left in 81 and went to Memphis. We were there three years. During that time, there was a couple who moved over from Far East Tennessee. They came over with his work for, it seems like, an assignment of eight or ten months.

And he was a deacon. She was a deaconess.

But we went over to their condo to get to know them. They told us her story. He went way back in the church. And she, by her own admissions, she was a very antagonistic wife.

And he would get packed and get ready to go off to the Feast of Tabernacles, and she would take his socks and sew them shut.

She's telling these stories on herself. She would take sugar and other things and just spread through his suitcase. And he would go to her, put his arms around her, tell her that he loved her.

And there were times when she would then pound on his chest and say, No, I hate you! I hate you! And he would just hold her and say, No, you've just forgotten. You love me.

And it went on for a lot of years.

And he said it was just about, it was moving on. It was moving toward the breaking point where he was going to say, I won't put up with this anymore.

And you know what God did? He called her. He called that woman.

And she was baptized.

And she began serving.

He was already a deacon, and she was ordained a deaconess, I believe it was.

And years later, they're telling that story.

And I think of this every time. How do you know a husband, whether you will save your wife?

And that can apply to any marriage. Two believers, there's power, great power in that example that we set for that spouse.

We should always remember that. Now let's go to 1 Peter 3.

Mentioned a little bit from verse 7 earlier, but I want to go here and read a little bit more.

1 Peter 3.

And in the early verses, it says, wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands.

That tells wives you don't have to submit to somebody who's not your husband.

Once in a while, you have a man who lives his life like he thinks every woman on this earth has to defer to him.

Well, that's not what the Scripture tells her. She doesn't have to defer to just any dude that comes walking down, comes strutting down the road.

Be submissive to your own husband.

That, if some, do not obey the Word. Now, pause right there.

This might be a believing woman with an unbeliever for a husband, but, you know, it might also be a believing woman who has what appears to be a believing husband who's sitting there in church, but she knows the rest of the story that, during the rest of the week, he doesn't conduct himself like one who believes in the Word. He acts like he's carnal as the doorknob out there.

They, without a Word, again, our example is far more powerful. Than our words.

May be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

Verse 4 speaks of the power of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which are precious in the sight of God. It mentions the Holy Willing of old, who trusted in God. Sarah with Abraham. And then goes to the husbands in verse 7. Dwell with them according to understanding, and mentions your heirs together of the grace of life.

That your prayers are not entered.

A good example. You will be familiar with the latter two-thirds of Psalm 31. We have the Proverbs 31 woman.

Verse 10.

Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above rubies.

And then it goes through. What a remarkable woman! It's the ideal. She close her family.

She buys and sells trades.

She goes and looks at the field and she buys it. Very intelligent, capable, competent woman.

And what is just as amazing to me, is the man kind of hidden behind the scenes who is not threatened, who realizes she has talents and he isn't threatened by the fact that she has a good mind and a lot of capability.

And he backs off and lets her do that. And then at the end of the chapter, it tells the husband and the children, give her the praise that is due.

And so, maybe we ought to ask ourselves more often, do I give my spouse the praise that they deserve?

Well, number six and the last one is love.

Our spouse needs our love.

Long ago, the song was written, what the world needs now is love, sweet love.

And your mate needs your love.

Your family needs your love.

Love is the glue that binds two people into a singular unit before God. Without love, once in a while, you see someone just short circuit and crack up.

And I wonder if that's what happened to that guy who opened fire in that movie theater in Lafayette, Louisiana. I mean, he's from Alabama, but what they wrote about his life, he was a troubled soul, at least.

And somewhere down the line, when you're alone and you don't have love, we're created, we yearn to be loved and appreciated.

Now, we could look at love.

Sometimes a person looks at love as being the physical part first.

And secondly, then, the consideration, the good manners, the simple kindnesses of life. But love is not physical conquest. It's all woven in there together. It's not using a partner to get your own, to satiate your own personal desires.

Love's not just some mushy, gushy feeling.

Now, infatuation is.

Infatuation is an emotion that flares up very quickly, but then it fizzles out somewhere down the line.

Love will endure over time. In fact, love can only be discerned with time.

That's why the church has always counseled couples.

Give it time before you tie the knot.

Because you can only discern genuine true love over the weeks, the months. These whirlwind romances far too often are doomed to fail before they get started. Not always, but can be. Love stands the test of time. It develops and then it intensifies over time. Love is unconditional.

Love is unreserved. Yes, love, when a family member knocks on the door, you let them in. Because you love them. And it doesn't matter what they did.

They are unconditionally loved, although we may not have agreed with their decision or appreciated their action. And love is timeless. It's eternal.

And love is something that God develops within us, that His Spirit pours out upon us. And it intensifies over time. It's going to step across to the world that is yet to come.

Let's go to 1 Corinthians 13.

I know we went through this not that many weeks back, but let's look here again.

1 Corinthians 13, and just quickly read through verses 4 through 8.

We all should and we need to apply these verses.

Focus these verses on our own spouse, on our own family, on our own closest relationships.

1 Corinthians 13 verse 4, Love suffers long. And you know, sometimes it does have to suffer a long time. It's more than patience.

Sometimes we suffer long. And is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not parade itself. It is not puffed up. Love does not behave rudely. Does not seek its own. Is not provoked. Thinks no evil. Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. Bears all things. Believes all things. Endures all things.

Love never fails. And we can pause right there.

The author of marriage, the author of family, guarantees that if we love our spouse, our family members, it's going to come back to us for good.

We have the opportunity as we look toward the time. We're in that era when the church is given time to get herself ready.

We look to that coming marriage of Christ and the church.

And God has given us marriage and family. He's given us all kinds of relationships to help us prepare.

We can learn to be soulmates, to be companions, to be great communicators with that spouse.

We can learn to look at that spouse to see God living in that person and respect what we find. We can set a good example for that spouse. We can give a life, our life, showing our love and our selfless consideration for them.

We should live the highest standards in marriage and family and continue to raise the bar because, after all, this is a journey.

This is a journey. We look for that city who is builder and maker of God.

There are times when we make course corrections and we get our bearings back. It is a journey, but we continue on. And one day, and of course, we're almost to the fall holy days. Just six weeks away, we'll get to Trumpets. And in the fall, it ends with a time when we celebrate the events that include a time when Christ is married to the church and they live and reign a thousand years. So, God speed that day. Have a wonderful Sabbath. Have a wonderful month. See you at the end of the month.