How may we take some of the risk out of mate selection? Last time we looked at three important points: Take plenty of time to make a decision. Pray for God's guidance and wisdom. Seek wise counsel.
Now let's consider another vital biblical principle:
• Consider the biblical roles. In Ephesians 5:21-33 Ephesians 5:21-33  Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
 Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself.
 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church:
 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
American King James Version×, the apostle Paul lays out two major areas for married couples. For the wife, he says that a key role is that of submission. But what does that mean and how do both potential spouses understand "submission"? A woman should ask herself, "Do I find myself easily following his lead?" Does her potential spouse lead her in the right direction and make wise choices? Or is she going to be challenging him regularly because he is not one that she can easily follow? The man should ask himself, "Does she follow my lead or does she object to my style of leadership regularly?"
Similarly, the man should ask himself if he is prepared to love his wife and give himself for her as Christ loved the Church. Is the woman you want to marry lovable? The woman should ask herself if she feels loved by being with the man she is hoping to marry. Does he show honor and respect? Do you feel "warm" being with him?
These two roles are stressed in the Scriptures, so it is vital that the couple consider them before making any decision to marry.
Since marriage is at the heart of the family according to God's Word, we must do all that we can to take the risk out of mate selection. Then our marriages and our families may be blessed and bring stability to our communities, God's Church and our country. And our wonderful, loving God, the Founder of marriage, will be honored in this holy institution.