Stronger Marriages and the Holy Spirit

Thank you again, Mr. Holiday. I did also want to mention how much I enjoyed the regional weekend and how much I appreciate all of you who participated and helped out with that. I thought it went quite smoothly. We had a marvelous Sabbath and also a very fine Sunday activity out at the park. And we had nearly 50 teenagers that went to the prom and seemed to have a very good time. So, very grateful that we could host that activity for the region. Now, brethren, last time, two weeks ago, I gave a sermon entitled, Countdown to Pentecost. In the sermon, I encourage you to stir up God's Holy Spirit and to walk in the Spirit as you Countdown to Pentecost, now only three weeks away. Now, Barbara and I have been counting down to Pentecost. We've also been married for 39 years. We've been counting the days. I mean that in the best possible way. They've been a marvelous 39 years. That does seem like a long time to some of you, I'm sure. I know it would have seemed a lot longer to Barbara and to me if God's Spirit and our marriage had not gone together hand in hand from the beginning and throughout our marital relationship. We have had the tremendous benefit of the blessing of God's Holy Spirit to work in our marriage to make it much stronger than it would have been otherwise. And I know that's true for many of you that are here. You've had God's Spirit helping you in your marriage for many, many years, and you have much stronger marriages because you've yielded to God's Holy Spirit. Now, this sermon is not just for married couples. It's about God's Holy Spirit. So we can apply it in a number of different ways. It will be about marriage, though. In fact, the sermon is entitled, Stronger Marriages and the Holy Spirit, because the Holy Spirit, if it's utilized and properly yielded to and stirred up, will certainly produce much stronger marriages. But it's also for all people here because God's Spirit is a powerful force. Of course, it helps prepare us for marriage in case you might be in that situation. And if we're not, it's still vital for each and every Christian. So we know that love is the first fruit that's mentioned in Galatians 5 in regard to the fruits of the Spirit. In fact, some have said that love kind of encapsulates all the other fruits of God's Spirit as well. We know God is love, and God is complete, so I can see why they would think that.

Time goes very quickly when you're in love. So the nearly 39 or nearly 40 years that Barbara and I have been married have gone by also very, very quickly. It reminds me of a scripture in Genesis 29. Let's go there and read it together. Genesis chapter 29, also with John and Patricia getting married tomorrow. I thought it would be a good topic as well. So we are going to talk about marriage today. Genesis 29 verse 18. So he went to his father... Oh, that's not it. I'm in the wrong chapter. Genesis 29 verse 18. Now Jacob loved Rachel, so he said to her father Laban, he said, I will serve you seven years for Rachel, your younger daughter. I'm sure you remember the story about Leah, the older daughter. I can't even imagine what that would have been like. That's a hard one to wrap my mind around. Leah and Rachel and Jacob and all that was going on there. But he said he would serve Laban seven years for Rachel, your younger daughter. And Laban said, it is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to another man. Stay with me. So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love that he had for her. Time went by very quickly as he anticipated getting the wife that he really wanted. I mean, it's sad if you're Leah. It's certainly a sad situation in many respects. So verse 21 says, then Jacob said to Laban after the seven years, give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled that I may go into her, so that they might have a marital relationship. So it's quite amazing to me. I'm going to have some questions for those guys. When I get to see them later on, how they were able to navigate that as well as they did is quite remarkable, even though there were issues, certainly. Lots of issues. Well, brethren, if two people who are husband and wife yield to the lead of God's Holy Spirit in their lives, their marriage will be naturally among the strongest possible if they're truly yielding to God's Spirit. If both husband and wife are producing the fruit of God's Spirit abundantly, they will indeed have a strong marriage.

In fact, their marriage is going to be vibrant and alive in many, many ways and respects. A marriage that is full of love, of joy, of peace, of patience, and a willingness to endure any trial that comes along is going to be among the strongest marriages possible. A marriage that is full of gentleness, meatness, humility, full of kindness, full of goodness, full of faithfulness, and self-control will certainly thrive and flourish.

Exercising the Holy Spirit in your marriage will surely produce a strong marriage indeed. It's something that we should think about. If ever we're having problems in our marriage, we should think about, well, where is God's Holy Spirit in all of this? Are we stirring up God's Holy Spirit? Are we yielding to God's Holy Spirit? Why are we having these issues? Now, these are questions that we should ask. Anytime we're having issues like that, and we should look at ourselves first and ask ourselves, what should I be doing to produce more of God's Spirit in my marriage?

God's Spirit must be stirred up. We know that. The Scriptures talk about that. It tells us we need to stir up the Spirit of God, and we also need to learn to walk in the Spirit consistently as husband and wife. So, as we continue to count down to Pentecost, let us stir up the Spirit. Let us stir up God's Spirit within us. Let us walk in the Spirit, and may our marriages become even stronger as the days go by.

Brethren, love must be nurtured along the way. It's vitally important that both husband and wife love each other strongly from the outset, so we should marry for love. That's very important. Don't marry someone you don't love. Don't rush into something. Make sure that you truly are in love. But, in some ways, it's even more important to nurture your love all along the way. The reason I say that is basically true, that there have been arranged marriages that have gone pretty well.

There wasn't really a lot of love there in the beginning because they didn't even know each other, but they were committed to each other. They learned to love each other because they nurtured that love. So, it is possible to stir up the Spirit of God and to have that love in your marriage, even if perhaps today you're lacking some love for your husband or for your wife.

So, that's something to really think about. If God's Spirit is being utilized and stirred up, then God's Spirit is a Spirit of love. We can learn to love people more, love each other more, by yielding to God's Holy Spirit. So, what can we do to nurture our love for one another? Let's talk about that for a bit. First, let's think about what love is. What is love? We know God is love, of course.

The Bible tells us that. We know that love is an outgoing concern for one another. We've heard that as well. I'd like to use an illustration from a movie. It's called Step Mom. Some of you may have seen it. Some of you probably haven't seen it, but it stars Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon, both quite popular actresses. It's about the strained relationship between a new stepmother and her husband's ex-wife. So, you can see that it's an interesting dynamic that they're going to talk about or that they're going to feature here. To really complicate matters, the ex-wife and mother is dying of cancer.

Both must learn to accept one another in their new roles, especially as they both attempt to raise the ex-wife's two young children. The same husband had two children with the first wife, divorced her as a second wife, and now the first wife is dying. So, the young children are going to end up with Step Mom. So, at the start of a particular scene, it says they both attempt to raise the ex-wife's two young children as they prepare for the ex-wife's death.

So, they actually moved in together. They're all living together for the sake of the children. At the start of this particular scene, Luke, who's played by Ed Harris, brings his two children, Anna, age 12, and Benjamin, age 8, to a park where remote-controlled sailboats are being sailed. As Luke and Benjamin launch their sailboat, Anna, looking sad, asks why Luke's new wife, that's her father, why his new wife, Isabel, has moved in with them. Momentarily surprised at the question, Luke answers, because we love each other and we want to share our lives together.

Anna replies, we already had a life together with Mommy. Her father says, but Mommy and I weren't getting along very well, and it wasn't fair to you guys fighting all the time. Benjamin interjects, I fight with Anna all the time. Can I move out?

Luke smiles and says that, again, the father smiles and says, no, but you guys are brother and sister. You were husband and wife, says Anna. Doesn't that mean something?

Luke caught off guard, slowly says, yes, it does, but well, when you get older, your relationships get a lot more complicated, and there's all kinds of feelings flying around, and sometimes, some of these feelings change. Anna then asks, but did you fall out of love with Mommy? Well, yeah, I guess I did. I still love your mom, but it just became a different kind of love, that's all. We're still really good friends, and we always will be. Benjamin asks with a serious look, can you ever fall out of love with your kids? The eight-year-old, being very perceptive, asks, can you ever fall out of love with your kids? If it can happen to Mommy, could it happen to us? Well, that's a good question. Generally, parents don't fall out of love with their kids, do they? You don't hear about too many parents divorcing their children. Maybe as they get older, but not when they're younger. No, they usually don't get rid of their children. They love their children, they always love them no matter what. But that's not always true with husbands and wife, unfortunately, and there are many, many divorces, as we all know, that go on continually. But is that the way it should be? Does that even make any sense? This little scenario that we talked about, does it make much sense? Love has to be nurtured all along the way, as it is with children, and you have to have that committed love for a mate, like you do for your children. It has to be a committed love. It's not a negotiable kind of love. I mean, that's not very deep love, is it? When you fall out of love with someone that you supposedly really loved. So love has to be nurtured all along the way, as it is with children. Children reciprocate pretty well while they're young. They're cuddly, they're loving, they're affectionate. We don't perhaps expect as much out of children. We expect more out of our mates, and when they disappoint us, then we get sour, perhaps, and things drift, and things get bad between a husband and a wife. There's a bond with our children that just is not easily broken. In most cases, it just can't be broken. I submit to you that we have to have that love for each other, an unyielding love. You know, we have to love each other in the same way. We have to set that type of example so that this sort of thing doesn't happen, so that we don't have these broken families, and things get difficult for our children. The Bible speaks of a love that cannot be broken. Let's go to 1 Corinthians chapter 13, and we're familiar with this chapter. It's the love chapter. We're all quite familiar with it, but it talks about real love, godly love, 1 Corinthians chapter 13 verse 1. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not parade itself. Love is not puffed up. You know, when you see this, you can see some of the other fruits of God's Spirit in love. You know, it says, love suffers long. It's long suffering. That's one of the fruits of God's Spirit. Love is kind. That's another one.

Love does not parade itself. It is not puffed up. Meatness, humility, is another one of God's fruits of God's Spirit. There are nine fruits of God's Spirit, but is that an exhaustive list? You know, in Galatians chapter 5, and it talks about the works of the flesh, it gives a bunch of different things, and it says, and the like.

And the like. So, perhaps there are similar things, like this thing about envy. Love is not envious.

Not being envious is also, I submit, it's a fruit of God's Spirit as well. Not being jealous or envious of others in a wrong way. You know, there's a right type of jealousy, but I'm talking about the wrong kind. Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, it believes all things, it hopes all things, and it endures all things. Love never fails. Okay, so if we're talking about true, godly love, you don't fall out of that kind of love. You don't allow that to happen.

I mean, we all have a responsibility to cultivate and to nourish that kind of love for one another.

Love never fails, but whether there are prophecies, they will fail. Whether there are tongues, they will cease. Whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

Verse 13, and now abide faith, hope, love, these three, but the greatest of these is love.

Love is a great attribute. God is love. It's a fruit of God's Spirit, perhaps summing up all the other fruits of God's Spirit.

So we should view marriage as a lifelong commitment of faithfulness. Love is faithful.

We should view marriage as a lifelong commitment of faithfulness. Again, faithfulness, another fruit of God's Spirit, it helps nurture one's love. Philip Yancey, an author and also a minister, wrote of a friend of his named Susan, a professing Christian, evidently in one of his congregations, who told Yancey that her husband did not measure up, and she was actively looking for other men to meet her needs for intimacy. He says, when Susan mentioned that she rose early each day to spend an hour with the Father, talking about the Heavenly Father, I ask, he asked her, Philip Yancey asked her, in your meetings with the Father, do any moral issues come up that might influence this pending decision about leaving your husband?

Now, he's meddling, right? He's getting down to brass tacks with her. Susan bristled. That sounds like the response of a white Anglo-Saxon male. The Father and I are into relationship, not morality. Relationship means being wholly supportive and standing alongside me, not judging. How many of you agree with her? I hope no one raises their hand.

Yeah, I mean, it's wrong thinking, obviously.

She does not understand God's Word. She doesn't understand who the Father is. Not only was this woman being immoral, she was also a euchipicrit. She was certainly being very critical and judging of her husband, who I'm sure wasn't perfect, but she certainly wasn't perfect either.

So, obviously, we have to be very careful where we allow our minds to go. We're supposed to bring every thought into captivity under the obedience of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who never sinned. It's very important that in our marriages, we also practice this. Bring your thoughts into captivity. If they're not godly thoughts, then don't allow them to continue. Bring them into captivity. Imprison them. Get rid of them. Now, many of you have heard the name Morton Condraki. Now, the younger ones may not know who he is, but he's been around for quite a while. He's probably close to 80 years old now, but he's a very no-nonsense, independent, thinking journalist. In an interview with Dick Stahlb, Condraki describes how he and his wife first discovered that she had Parkinson's disease. Here's what he says about his wife. She had beautiful handwriting, and she was writing a check and couldn't form the letter K right. I didn't appreciate that there was any difference. It looked fine to me, but she insisted that no, there was something wrong. Later, she had a tremor in the little finger of her right hand, and then her foot was sort of waffle on the brakes when she was driving. She had been a counselor at the neurology center in Bethesda, Maryland, helping families with patients with chronic neurological diseases. She was given Cemetral, which is a Parkinson's medicine, by a doctor, and he didn't tell her what it was. But she called me up at work one day, totally distraught and hysterical, in a way that I'd never heard Millie before. She said, you have to come home right away. Something terrible has happened. And I thought that one of the kids had been in an auto accident or something, so I raced home. There she was standing in the bedroom with this bottle in her hand. She said, this is Parkinson's medicine. It can't be Parkinson's. I've seen Parkinson's. It's a horrible disease. I won't be able to talk. I won't be able to walk. I won't be able to swallow. I won't be able to eat. You'll have to take me to the bathroom. I'll be totally dependent. You won't love me anymore. You'll need me.

I had to convince her that I was not going to bug out. Apparently, 50 percent of men whose wives have chronic illnesses split. That's the statistic. About 50 percent of men whose wives end up with chronic illnesses, they leave the scene. They don't stick around. They don't take care of their wives. Women tend to stick around a lot more than men. Men, half of them leave. She couldn't be sure that I wasn't one of the wrong 50 percent in the beginning, but after a certain point, she realized that I was there for the duration. You just ask God's help every day, multiple times a day. I couldn't do this without God's help. I pray for help and strength and Millie's deliverance all the time. I simply could not do this without feeling that I was doing God's work in a small way. I've asked God innumerable times, you know, so what is my purpose here on earth? Okay, this is Morton Kondraki, not called of God at this stage of the game, as far as God not opening up the full truth in regard to the Sabbath and the Holy Days and many other things, but undoubtedly he had some understanding. He did read the Bible and he did pray to God. So what is my purpose here on earth? Hoping that he will add a new and grandiose dimension to this. Now that's what I believe you and I have. We have that new and grandiose dimension that he was looking for. We have a deeper understanding. We have a better understanding of why things are the way they are, why things happen the way they do here on the earth, why God allows people to suffer, why God allows someone to get Parkinson's disease. We have a fuller understanding, a fuller picture, because of God's Holy Spirit and God opening up our minds to a greater and fuller understanding of his truth and way of life. Also, his plan of salvation, what God is doing here on the earth. So he was looking for something bigger and better. He says, hoping that he will add a new and grandiose dimension to this, which he never does. The message always comes back the same. Your job here is to take care of Millie. That's your job. And that was a very, very important job for Morton Kondraki. This was from an interview in Christianity Today back in 2002. Now, in short contrast to this attitude of faithfulness by Morton Kondraki, the attitude of commitment that he had toward his wife, we find attitudes such as this one expressed by another aging rock star. I guess he's still alive. His name is Rod Stewart. You've heard of him? Some of you older folks. But here's what he said some years ago. He said, I think marriage vows should be changed because they've been in existence for 600 years. No, is that 600 years? It says 600 years. I don't know if that was a mis-type or if that was what he actually said. I'm not sure about that. Anyway, they've been in existence for, I think, 600 years when people used to live until they were only 35. Yes, so he's going back to the Middle Ages when people live to be 35. That's when he thinks marriage vows must have taken, you know, taken place. Anyway, so they only had to be with each other for 12 years because they got married later. They only had to be together for 12 years. Then they would die anyway. But now it's a big commitment because you're going to be with someone for 50 years. It's impossible. The vows should be rewritten like a dog's license that has to be renewed every year. Can you believe that?

And unfortunately, that is the way many people look at things, you know. They relegate a marriage license to a dog's license.

I might ask, well, what about Adam and Eve? They were married nearly 6,000 years ago when marriage vows first took place, when they first began, and God instructed them about marriage, about living together and being one flesh. And they lived to be how old? 900 years old back in the early days. So I suppose some marriages lasted a super long time back in those days.

Quite a difference from the way Rod Stewart looks at things and too many others look at things. Let's go to Ephesians chapter 5. We'll read this together, and it's a very important chapter. Not the whole chapter, but it's a very important passage of scriptures in regard to marriage. One of the most important in the Bible, if not the most important. Ephesians chapter 5.

So again, we're talking about God's Spirit and stirring up the Spirit of God and letting God's Spirit guide us and direct us in our marriages. Let's begin in Ephesians 5 verse 21. Submitting to one another in the fear of God, because it's important that we realize that we are to submit to one another in the fear of God. Husbands and wives submitting to each other in the fear of God. Wanting to please God, wanting to do what is right in God's sight, not seeking our own ways, but seeking God's ways in our marriage. He says, wives submit to your own husbands, and ask to the Lord. For the husband as head of the wife is also Christ as head of the church, and he is Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands and everything. Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. That he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the word. That he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing.

That she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. So a lot of wonderful instruction is given here, and there is a comparison here between marriage and Christ and the church. And it is a very spiritual topic. And God should be very active in our marriages. God's spirit should be very active in our marriages.

Because our marriages symbolize that union between God and the church. Christ is the head of the church. We are to submit to Christ. We are to let our minds be like his mind. We are to become like Christ. We are to put on the mind of Christ. So it's very important that we realize that we are symbolizing in our marriages the marriage between Christ and the church. And we are to be without blemish, without spot, without wrinkle. And that's how we should approach our marriages, striving to become like Christ in all things. Learning to truly love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for the church. That's huge for men, isn't it? To love them in the way that Christ loves the church and sacrificed himself and gave himself for the church. If every husband is treating his wife in that manner, I would think that most would submit to such a person. They would be willing to submit. They would be willing to follow that man's lead. And they would be very grateful for such a leader, a godly leader, a spiritual leader. So it is extremely important that we consider our marriages and the kind of example that we set. Because this world is sure not setting the right example, is it? This world is showing us something far different from what God intended and what God desires within his church. So we really need to turn to our wives. Our wives need to turn to our husbands. The wives do need to learn to respect their husbands, be submissive to them in the way that God intended. And the husband needs to love them as Christ loved the church. And they need to work out issues, work out problems, not get divorced. Now that's not godly. God hates divorce. I mean, I know that things have happened with some of you, of course. That's ancientism. I'm talking about what you can do from this day forward. How you can live your life now. The kind of example that you can set from this day forward. God forgives. You know, if you've repented, God's forgiven. And life goes on. But we are called to be different, to set a high godly example in our marriages. Viewing marriage as a lifelong commitment of faithfulness helps ensure one's love. If that's how we look at marriage, if we have that lifelong commitment of faithfulness, and that we're going to be faithful through thick, through thin, through disease, through anything that happens, then certainly our love will be nurtured for one another, and our love will grow. And look, you can go to God and ask God for help. You know, if you don't have these feelings of love that are really emanating strongly within you, go to God and ask God, and continue to ask God. Ask and you shall receive. Have faith. Believe that God will stir up His Spirit within you, and will restore that love for each other. Okay, let's talk about what else we can do to nurture our love for each other. Being joyful, being considerate, and being thankful for our mates will help us nurture our love for each other. Learning to be a joyful person, that's the fruit of God's Spirit. You know, if you're grumpy in the morning, don't stay that way.

You know, we'll give you a little while, but you know, you need to warm up. And you can't afford to stay grumpy all day long. It would be nice if you rolled out of bed, all happy and cheerful and joyful, even before your coffee. But that may not be the case. So, try to get there as soon as you can. But joy is a fruit of God's Spirit. So, if you're not a naturally joyful person, ask God to help you be more joyful. Ask God to stir up His Spirit and give you that gift of joy and be a joyful person. And a lot of that has to do with being a thankful person. If you're a truly thankful person, then joy comes a lot easier. You know, if you're a selfish person and you're not really that thankful for the blessings that you get, and you always want more, instead of being grateful for what you have and for what God's giving you, then obviously that's a problem. Being considerate for each other.

Once upon a time, there was an efficiency expert. And this efficiency expert concluded a lecture with a note of caution. He says, you don't want to try these techniques at home.

Why not ask someone from the back of the audience? Well, I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years, the expert explained. She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, to the stove, to the table, to the cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. Honey, I suggested, why don't you try carrying several things at once? The person in the audience asked, did it save time? The expert replied, actually, yes, it did. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast. Now I can do it in seven. That's right. So you have to be careful. You have to be careful how you handle things, especially if she hasn't had her coffee. Just a little lightheartedness, but seriously, you know, you should be able to laugh with each other, maybe at each other sometimes without being offensive. You know, we shouldn't be easily offended, especially not if we're married to someone. You know, we've seen them in all kinds of circumstances and situations. So we have to be forgiving people in our relationships. Let's go to 1 Peter 3, where some principles were given for husband and wife. 1 Peter 3.

1 Peter 3, verse 1.

Wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word. So this is talking about someone who is married to perhaps someone who is not a converted mate, someone who does not obey the word, or maybe they're not behaving like they're converted. They without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives. The example that the wife sets can make a huge difference for their husband. May be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear and proper respect for the husband and that sort of thing and for God. Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. Now, Abraham, no doubt, was a good husband as well and treated his wife with love and respect. Verse 7, husbands likewise dwell with them, with your wives, with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel. Now, that's not talking about the wife being weaker intellectually. It's not talking about her being weaker even emotionally. You know, a lot of women are very strong emotionally. You can't just use this as a carte blanche type principle here, but certainly women are physically less strong than most men of around the same age. That's a given. That's true. Most husbands can whip their wives if they should ever do that, by the way. Man, I can't believe I said that. I think I can still whip my wife, but she's getting tough. No, I've never whipped my wife.

All right, so please don't whip your wives. Be very nice to your wives. Treat them with love and respect. Let's get back to the Scriptures. And as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Okay, we are heirs together of the grace of life. And we're the same in God's sight. Male, there's no male or female. There's no slave or free. You know, the Scripture talks about, you know, those things aren't so important. You know, none of that's going to matter in the future. So we need to realize that we are heirs together of the grace of life. And we should work together that our prayers would not be hindered, that we would get along very well together, loving each other, forgiving each other, and setting the proper example, and becoming godly people. So we should dwell with understanding men with our wives. You know, it is important to try to understand how our wives think. And there are books written about that. You know, men are from Mars, women are from Venus. There are, you know, that book sold a lot of copies. There is some truth in those books and how they're written and so forth. You can learn from them. I've read the books. It's really working well for me.

All right, so we should dwell with our wives, with our husbands, with understanding. So be considerate, be thankful for all the wonderful things your wife does for you. Maybe you'll be eating omelets and pancakes instead of cold cereal that you have to fix, like the efficiency expert. All right, let's go to 1 John chapter 3. 1 John chapter 3.

1 John chapter 3 verse 10.

In this, the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest. Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God. So if you're not practicing righteousness, you're certainly not following God's example. You're not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother. For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another, not as Cain, who was of the wicked one, and murdered his brother. He followed Satan's example, who was a murderer and a liar. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brothers were righteous. Abel was righteous. Do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. So obviously, we have to learn to love each other. The two great commandments, love God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your might, and also love your neighbor as yourself. Certainly, that would include your wife, your husband. So it is important that we behave in such ways that we learn to truly love each other. Let's drop down to verse 22. Verse 22.

And whatever we ask, we receive from him because we keep his commandments. We keep God's commandments and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. So it is important how we live our lives, that we do keep God's commandments, that we yield to God and his direction in our lives. And this is his commandment that we should believe in the name of his son, Jesus Christ, and love one another as he gave us commandment. So learning to love one another is so important. So are you a child of God, or do you sometimes behave like a child of the devil? Doing ungodly, wicked, unrighteous things, acts toward your husband or your mate. If so, then that's something that needs to be repented of.

Just to add a little lightheartedness in here. Let's talk about what is love from a kid's point of view. This is from...

It's called Light Singer. It's entitled, What is Love from a Kid's Point of View? First kid says, When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time. Even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love. Another child says, Love is when someone hurts you and you get so mad that you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings. Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him to make sure the taste is okay.

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.

You really shouldn't say, I love you unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget. So being joyful, being considerate, being thankful toward your mate will help nurture your love. It will help you be a better person. If you're not married, then certainly learning to be joyful, considerate, and thankful will also keep you in good stead.

Doing things together and finding common interest will also help nurture your love for one another. It is important that husbands and wives do things together. Things that are fun to do. You know, you should try to bring some fun into your marriage and spend some time having some fun together. Not being so intent on working all the time. Work is a good thing, but there's a time to play as well and a time to do things together. Now, there was a huge rivalry. There is a huge rivalry in college basketball between the University of Louisville and the University of Kentucky. The story is told that at one of the games between the two schools, an elderly woman was sitting alone with an empty seat next to her. Someone approached her and said, Ma'am, I have rarely seen an empty seat in Rupp Arena, let alone at a game between these two teams. Whose seat is this? The woman responded that she and her late husband had been season ticket holders for 28 years and the seat had belonged to him. Well, couldn't you find a friend or relative to come to the game with you? The observer asked. She answered, are you kidding? They're all at my husband's funeral.

That's horrible, isn't it?

Now, of course, seriously, doing things together like attending basketball games where both husband and wife are into it will bond two people together. Now, if one of them really isn't into it and you're just dragging them along reluctantly, they're not really with it, then that's probably not the activity you need to do together. Find something else to do together that you both enjoy, not that one has to tolerate and has a hard time being joyful about it.

But going to basketball games, anything that you do together will bind people together. Riding bikes together, taking walks together, fishing together, that's something my wife and I seldom do. Fishing together, though, we have a few times. Studying together, praying together, spending time with the kids together, all of this will bond two people together more strongly, especially when they're allowing God's Spirit to lead them and to guide them and to interact with them in their relationship. Doing things together and finding common interests will help nurture one another's love. And when children come along, it's also very easy to stop the dating and just get bogged down by all the responsibility of child rearing. But try to find some times, you know, we have enough people in this church congregation that you could babysit for each other. You know, take their three kids, go out and have a good time, just the two of you. And then a week or two later, give them your three kids, and you go out and have a good time. You know, so take the opportunities that you can find, make the opportunities to spend time together, to go out together, to go out to eat together, to just do things together as a husband and wife. Trapping is a good way to bond, going on trips together. That will help nurture your love, spending time together. Supporting each other and encouraging each other will also help nurture your love. Supporting each other, encouraging each other. That's really important. I don't know if you know the story about Nathaniel Hawthorne, who wrote one of the greatest novels of American literature, at least from some viewpoints. It was a very popular novel. It was called The Scarlet Letter.

Not the greatest in a lot of other ways, but an intriguing novel for sure. Anyway, this is from David Jeremiah, who wrote an article called The Power of Encouragement back in 1994, a long time ago. But it was submitted in the Vision House Publishing.

In 1994, it was by David Jeremiah. It says, If it had not been for a supportive, encouraging wife Sophia, we might not have listed among the great names of literature the great name of Nathaniel Hawthorne. When Nathaniel, a heartbroken man, went home to tell his wife that he was a failure and had been fired and he died in a custom house, she surprised him with an exclamation of joy. Now, she said triumphantly, you can write your book. Yes, replied the man with sagging confidence, and what shall we live on while I'm writing it? To his amazement, she opened a drawer and pulled out a substantial amount of money. What on earth, where on earth did you get that? he exclaimed. I've always known you were a man of genius. She told him, I knew that someday you would write a masterpiece. So every week, out of the money you gave me for housekeeping, I saved a little bit. So here is enough to last us for an entire year. From her trust and confidence came one of the greatest novels of American literature. He wrote the Scarlet Letter. So she was encouraging to him. She believed in him. She felt he had hidden talents that he could put to good use, and he was obviously quite successful. Let's go back to a few of the love from a kid's point of view. One child said, when someone loves you, the way they say your name is different, you know that your name is safe in their mouth.

Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he's more handsome than Robert Redford.

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.

So supporting each other and encouraging each other in various ways is going to help nurture your love for each other. So make sure that you are an encouraging person, that you do encourage your mate.

And also a last point, let God change your mate. Don't you try to do it. Let God change your mate. It isn't that you can't pray that God might change your mate, but you have to be careful. First, make sure you're changing yourself into a better person. Someone once said that when the wedding march begins, a bride sees three things. She sees the aisle, the altar, and him. And from that time on, her motto is, I'll alter him.

And when it doesn't work that way, there is disillusionment and difficulty. So don't marry someone you really plan on altering. Marry someone that you love just the way they are. And if they don't get any better, you're still going to love them forever.

So let God change your mate. Don't you try to do it yourself. Work on yourself. Try to be a better self. Pray about your mate, that God will guide them and help them. But most importantly, pray that they will learn to be happy and joyful and produce the fruit of God's Spirit in their lives.

So, brother, why not think about all of God's spiritual fruits? We haven't talked about all of the spiritual fruits of God today. But we've mentioned them, but we haven't talked about them in any great detail because we really don't have the time to do all that today. But you can take the next three weeks and consider all of the fruit of God's Holy Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, meekness, faithfulness, self-control. And how are you applying those fruits of God's Spirit in your marriage?

Wouldn't exercising God's Holy Spirit, yielding to it and stirring it up, make your marriage even stronger than it is? God's Spirit and marriage really do go well together. In fact, I'm amazed at how some people have such a good marriage, and yet God's Spirit isn't dwelling in them.

But they love each other. They care for each other. They're compassionate toward each other. They're doing many good, right and godly things toward each other. Now, there are many good examples. My sister has been married to her husband for nearly 50 years, and they've gone along great.

And I'm sure you know of some who are not in God's Church, who have some very fine marriages.

With God's Spirit, I would think that we could possibly do well ourselves. Utilizing God's Spirit is extremely important. Stirring it up will make your marriage stronger than it is. They do go very well together. Nurture your love and produce the fruit of God's Spirit in your life and in your marriage, and you will be amazed how quickly time will fly by. Time will go by very, very quickly if you're enjoying each other's company. If you're not enjoying each other's company, if you're not enjoying each other's company, then I don't think it's going to go by so quickly. You know, you've got to love, you know, really love each other like Jacob loved Rachel. It flew by quickly. He loved her, and life was good. For you young couples out there, it won't seem long, and you'll be celebrating your 40th wedding anniversary. Scary thought, isn't it? But it'll happen quickly. I remember when I was your age, and it's happened very quickly. So, brethren, as we continue to count down to Pentecost, walk in the Spirit and have a healthier, happier, stronger marriage.